Tonight hanging with Carrie (who always shows up late lol I love my non-punctual pseudo me) and then movies with her and Wes.
Tomorrow shopping with Heather yes?
Good weekend? I hope so. =]
People have said something to me about my hair EVERYDAY this week. Man, I adore it. <<33
I don’t eat. I don’t sleep. My thumb’s a pretty shade of pink. I don’t do my homework. I sit up till all hours of the night. I write crappy angsty ranty pieces of shit that even I’ll never look at again. I don’t get anything done that I really really need to.
Some call me irresponsible. Some call me a fool. I’ve been called immature, lazy, and spoiled. And let’s not forget a bitch. That’s one of my favorites.
I’ve been snapped at and hit and hit on and teased and tricked and stabbed in the back and sweet-talked and persuaded.
I’ve done things that have left me crying in my bed at night because I feel so sordid or morally corrupt or just bad because I look back and realize whatever terrible thing I’ve let myself do isn’t me.
Think before you act and speak. It’s good advice. The question is why do none of us follow it?
I follow it more. I follow is because I have a boyfriend who’s crazy about precision talking and some bad things I’ve done in my past. Let’s face it… If I don’t monitor me, BAD fucking shit will happen.
I would lie, cheat, steal… I’d be shallow and fake I bet. I’d have no morals. I’d go shoving my tongue down anyone’s throat who would have it and go running to anyone who would have me, if you get what I mean. I’d wear lots of low cut tops and short shorts and not give a damn about college or my future (believe me sometimes the better choice seems to be to just give it all up… I can’t do this).
It’s midnight. I’m not tired anymore. I’m skeptical. I have a searing headache from my neuvo lack of eating.
I have gym tomorrow and no idea what’s going on after school or this weekend. I’m stressed out. I’m confused. I’m selfish and irresponsible. Bad set of priorities…
Oh say what you will. I can do a lotta bad shit and survive… If I can go through what I did…. If I can do that not just for me but for Tabitha and this year so far two other people… Yeah nevermind I’m ranting.
Fuck this. I’m going to lay down and stare at my ceiling for the next hour and half, two hours till I fall asleep. I have gym tomorrow (did I say that?) and I’m not looking forward to… well much of anything anymore. What is there to look forward to? (Not being emo; it’s a serious question).
