felix's daily adventures

I love him. I do. More than anything. He means the world and more to me. And I hope he never forgets that even when I’m a bitch and even when things get rough.

Things haven’t been so great lately, but they’re getting better. Especially after today.

Today was rough… I gotta ease up some… See there’s the girls that complain about every little thing and drive their boyfriends away. Then there’s girls that have ten thousand and almost never say something so they just randomly break up with their boyfriends someday. I wanna be somewhere in the middle. But I have pride and a fear of being walked on (like I was by a certain ex boyfriend who needs not be mentioned). I need to chill that. It’s hard. It’s always gonna be hard for me… Least till I grow up some. (Yeah THAT’LL really happen…)

I don’t want a day like today to EVER come again. That was scary as hell to me. I thought I was gonna lose the one thing I hold closest to me…

Yeah, some of what I heard kinda hurt… But it was all true. =/

We’re two very different people on the outside but we’re a lot the same too. But we have different priorities and values I guess… Which makes it hard to work around each other sometimes. But I think know we can do it.

I want things to work. And we all know when I want something, damnit, I get it. I’m too stubborn to let this not work for any longer. I would tell fate just to try to beat me but then it would make something bad happen.

I guess whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen. I can’t change that. Everything happens for a reason. Today included? I’m not sure how, but it’s all part of the grand scheme of things. And nothing ever happens that is beyond your absolute abilitiy to handle.

Two things I believe whole-heartedly. But I don’t wanna test the latter of the two on this. I refuse. So let’s not even bother testing the limits… See since I’m irrational I get pushed to edge REALLY easily and get upset, but my limits are farther out than his are. He’s on the edge, and his limit is getting pushed over it (well a little more than that because I know I’ve driven him over the edge before). See, I hit rock bottom, but till the earth splits open and swallows me up and I die I’m gonna hold on.

I could be completely wrong, but I don’t think so.

“What’s best.” That’s a peculiar phrase when you think about it…

Random “fun” fact: I pull my eyelashes out when I’m stressed out. Like right now. It’s a dreadful habit.

Man. I was an amazing writer with amazingly sadistic plot twists.

WTF? It’s after 2:30 and I’m sitting up reading old shit I wrote… W and T and F to self…

But damnit I wrote really sweet sappy romantic stuff… I guess that’s what happened to the nice in me yeah?

Back in the days when I was a stupid anime fag and I was dating Connor Gibson (which I only know because it was in my profile GAG ME PLEASE) this is some of what I had to put in my profile… Laugh. I did. Well okay… Actually I agree with the part that goes “musician without too much regard for what other people think”. That’s it though. And YES, I copy pasted this from where it was and edited nothing. Everything in parenthesis was there to begin with.

“Okay, so I’m a fourteen year old rebel-wihtout-a-cause, ex-cutter, authoress, musician without too much regard for what other people think. I’m basically a hard to handle problem child punk ass little bitch. . What can I say?

Time forrandom quotes from yours truly, Sarah theTwisted.

“Moron.”

“Don’t (insert command here) or I’ll kill you.”

“Fag” (Okay this isn’t cause I’m against gays or lesbians… I just use it a lot)

“Fuck you.”

“That’s NOT how I meant it!”

“It’s not bad music.”

“My momIS a psychotic bitch.”

“Lol.” (Don’t we all use THAT one…)

“Yeah… sure. Whatever.”

“Leave me the fuck alone.”

“Demon, I hate you.”

“Ikinda wish I was dead.”

“You’re violent.”

“Get lost.”

“I’m SOO sorry.” (Which contradicts my philosophy in life of living with no regrets… But I’m usually apologizing for other peopel so it’s okay.)”

Ahem well okay that’s the end of the copy pastedness… But scary right? I used to be waaaaay more emo than I am now believe it or not… I was a very angsty emo little anime fag… Geezuse…. >.<

Trans Siberian Orchestra makes me smile.

So let’s see… The Adventures of Sarah Vs. The Computers…

So first I had to battle the shitty way in which Compaq designs it’s case and arranges it’s hardware. I had to rip the plastic casing off the fucking front just to slide the god damn CD drive out which has stupid little things on the side. Stupidest piece of shit I’ve ever seen… And btw the hard drive is in a little pocket in the front laying vertically. Yeah… That’s dumb. [Hey it's The Josephine Love Letter!] But I got that all taken care of. Step Two: Burn a DVD with part of my music library to start transfering just under {I had 3 paragraphs past this tpyed that my computer just deleted for no reason and THAT pisses me off to no end… just throwing that out there} 15GBs of music to my other computer.

Well I guess I used to wrong Roxio setting because it broke my files all up and was stupid at me. Okay gay. So I go back and reburned it. Take it to my computer and it decides to be spastic and not read my DVD. So then I proceed to try to network my laptop to my computer. My and two phone lines and the internet and command prompts and things not working. I think I kinda knew all along what I was doing wouldn’t work but I kept going anyways (here is where I let you call me a dumbass because I kinda was). So okay fine. I decide to install Roxio in case it’s a software problem and not a problem with my drive.

So the key doesn’t work. -.- I go to a key site and THAT doesn’t work. Okay so I try to install WinDVD which goes over horribly since it needs a key and the case is lost. So I go back to the site. Well next thing you know there’s bubbles popping up at me going “AHH CRITICAL SYSTEM ERRORS OMG YOU’RE COMPUTERS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE JESUS DOESN’T LOVE YOU!” and I was like “AH OMFG WTF?”.

Actually I paced back and forth saying fuck progressively louder and louder for about two minutes jumping and spazzing included before I called Jason to spaz. Well so I went on for an hour and half trying to install things on this laptop here and watching the bubble come up again and again and open programs without my consent. Then I was like “why don’t I just do a sys restore?’”. I honestly didn’t figure it’d help any considering the nature of my problem.

Yeah well that process took about 3 minutes total and fixed the problem… I know wtf…

Then I got DVD something or another on the other computer and it STILL won’t read my DVD.

So about 12:30 rolled around about 50 minutes ago. That’s when I quit for the night.

3 pm – 12:30 am… 9 and a half hours of computer hell.

I’ll be so glad when this is all over… I hate technology.

They’re hanging mistletoe. They kiss. Why that looks so unique. Inspired. They’re gathering around to hear a story. Roasting chestnuts on a fire. What’s this? In here. They’ve got a little tree. How queer. And who would ever think. And why? They’re covering it with tiny little things. They’ve got electric lights on strings. And there’s a smile on everyone. So now correct me if I’m wrong. This looks like fun! This looks like fun! Oh could it be I got my wish? What’s this?

It’s 1:25 am and I should go to bed because I have to get up at 8. But do you think I’m going to bed? (I’ll give you a hint.. the answers no.)