School. Right now all I wanna do is say to hell with it and sleep all day tomorrow. Why? I fucked off today and did 0 out of my 60 notecards, meaning I have that ahead of me tonight before I get to bed. Ironically, I’m really not tired at all. Two hours of sleep later and I’m just hyper as fuck. I also can’t stop myself from fucking rambling so this seemed the safest outlet to just let my incoherence and babbling out at.
My fucking cat has taken up residence in the very center of my bed. She is just laying there like princess of the fucking palace on MY electric blanket. Isabelle, I know you can’t read, but you are a belligerent cunt and you have my closest source of warmth. That’s fucked up cat. At least do something useful with your days if you’re gonna take my blanket, like learn to cook for me or get up and change the channel on the TV or STOP RUNNING THE FUCK UPSTAIRS LIKE A D-BAG. Seriously, this cat acts like a clingy emotional girlfriend. /sigh
Fucking, the cord on my keyboard isn’t quite long enough to lean comfortably on my bed and type with it. I don’t know how many people have seen the kooky PC set up in my room, but it’s kinda like WTF MAN. There’s my bed right? And my nightstand. Then a chest next to that. So my tower [aka the actual PC] is on the chest. Then the monitor takes up almost my whole nightstand. My mouse hangs out on the corner of that, usually with some empty Mt. Dew cans and my cell phone. Then my keyboard chills on top of my monitor until I need it. This means when I use my computer I am hunched up on the end of my bed with the pillow with the keyboard on my lap. It’s kinda like “WTF Sarah? Why don’t you just have a normal set up?” Well I find chairs uncomfortable. I got too used to laptops and being without mine now this was the closest I could come. I love my bed.
Right now I am leaning against a corner that is cushioned by pillows galore and my keyboard is just chilling in a comfy position. South Park is on and I can’t stop thinking about these damn notecards I have to fucking do.
On another note, I better not have fucking a lot of homework tomorrow. It’s Carrie’s damned fucking birthday and I have to give a stupid speech in Civics already. I mean it’s me! I don’t do speeches! But there’s that Iowa or whatever kid. His hair distracts me. I guess that could be a relief.
See right now twenty thousand little thoughts are in my head and most of them don’t belong there. They are persistent and unwelcome, like my mind has been infected by a virus.
You know I just looked at my research rubric. Missing 25 out of 200 points for not having my notecards is a lot but at the same time I kind of don’t care. I think I’ll just finish those civics worksheets in study hall tomorrow [I forgot all about them til I came across them] (btw, video games commercial, mustang. I have to say it whenever I see one) then make like a notecard for my speech. Then I’ll start my other notecards on index cards. Another computer malfunction. Right on Sarah. High five. I can get some sleep.
I’m still not tired though. One thing is half on my mind. Wondering whether or not I really think what I think I think, any of it, and why the fuck I’m so annoying today but why I will still push a link to this post into the world so that public can read my sleep deprived and insane rantings. I sound fucking strung out and I’m really just tired as shit. Last night was insane. Tonight was fun. Today was… It was Sunday. I don’t do shit on Sundays. Let’s keep it that way.
Mondays are almost always good though. I will hold on to that. And it’s Carrie’s birthday. And I will hang out with both Chelsea’s this week and apply for a job. And if I can’t make my mind virus go away I will pour all of my energy into my research paper.
[No I won't. But if I were smart, I would. Rather, as much as I'm being driven crazy, my mind hasn't functioned anything close to this in years and while it's fucking shitty it's also kind of amazing in a weird nostalgic young process but modified to a more mature state way. I'm incoherent.]
Why was that long string in brackets? I’m ranting. Just fucking ranting.
I’m gonna sleep in my car some night. Me, my car, a shit ton of blankets and pillows.
Fireworks. I want fireworks. Fucking New Year’s Eve man. The silhouettes of bare trees against the black midnight sky lit up by all those fucking expensive ass multi-colored fireworks. Everyone stands outside freezing their asses off but it’s just kind of okay. And it should snow this year.
I want to get drunk with really cool people, or just drink enough to be warm, and go out right before midnight. I wanna be all bundled up so that just the tip of my nose gets cold while I hold that red plastic cup with my mix drink. I wanna have a little hat and a scarf and possibly even little gloves. I wanna scream, count down the seconds until 2009 is officially here. Then, when midnight hits, I wanna be with someone, whoever that someone is, male, female, or otherwise at that point in my life. I want everyone there to be with someone, or just with amazing friends and happy [but I wanna be with someone]. I want the whole moment to be one of those perfect warm fuzzy apple cidery peach cobblery sweet moments. Then when all those goofy fireworks are done, I want it to snow. Just a nice, soft, quiet fluffy snow. I wanna stay wherever I am, drink a cup of cocoa, and fall asleep is who ever’s arms. Everyone falls asleep smiling and everyone wakes up, well possibly hungover, but still happy none the less.
Things have been getting better and better lately. I hope they continue on that trend.
I feel like I shouldn’t broadcast this post to the public. It’s insane. I’m going to bed.
